As someone who is in the public eye and in the social media space what is your main message?
There seems to be so much pressure for us to be ‘perfect’ to always look sorted and to ‘get it right’, social media has really allowed us to show off the best selfie and how amazing our day has been, but that is not real life 100% of the time. I focus on keeping it raw and real with my ladies by discussing the things that aren’t so pretty, the void, ‘the process of becoming’ the unravelling that we all experience and ultimately how we have the power to really overcome the tough times and reclaim our self confidence as women.
Why are you so passionate about making women confident?
I had a pretty tough upbringing and experienced a lot of trauma, that at the time I thought was unbearable. Throughout the years I was blessed to meet some amazing coaches, mentors and teachers who really helped me see that I was the creator of my universe and that I really could be, do and have anything I wanted (if I was willing to do the work). I learned there was no need to live as a victim of my past instead I could use it to inspire others and to really achieve my hearts desires.
I don’t believe women aren’t confident, I believe we all have this inner confident queen (your Alter-she-go!). The problem is she is buried by all the negative self talk and comparison we have put on her. Most of the women I have worked with haven’t went deep inside to go and find her, they have allowed their beliefs to keep them in a place of low confidence (aka playing small). Once they realise they have a choice & that confidence is a DAILY (sometimes hourly) practice, they start stepping into who they really are. Imagine where Oprah would have been if she didn’t find her strength, her confidence, her power? Nothing makes me happier to see my clients, students and friends step into a life they love and have created for themselves.
Do you think social media plays a part in women’s lack of confidence?
I think it only adds to the negative self talk and comparison issue I mentioned before. If you know who you are and you are solid in that knowing, social media or any media for that matter – wont be an issue for you. The problem is when women start believing these beautiful perfected Instagram stories and comparing why their life doesn’t look like that. No one is posting up photos of when their bank card got declined or when they have a serious argument with their partner or how about when they’re in the toilet handling their #2’s right? Everyone has to go through these moments but they most likely wont be showing ‘that’ off so why would we decide to compare ourselves to a partial story of someones life?
What makes you the best you?
I love the quote from Ghandi that says “If you want to change the world, start with yourself”. My work in the confidence space really keeps me be honest. I am so blessed to do this work because I am constantly growing and always finding places in my life that I can fine tune. I can truly say that I am the work at work, I am clear on who I am and what I want for my life. I am blessed to have a wonderful support system. I have a beautiful husband who loves and supports me (he is also my biggest teacher). My two year old son teaches me that I know nothing and that love is the ultimate power and the women I get to meet along the way are my mirrors whom I am honoured to witness. I am a life long learner who is obsessed with podcast & audio books. All of this helps me be my best self.
How do you think boys and men can help empower the women in their lives?
Knowledge, education, self discovery and self development are the most important things I can think of for anyone to do. My husband has been a student for most of his life and has really learned the skill of listening from a place of understanding and this has really helped him to truly connect. The feminine energy is nurturing and deeply emotional by nature. When a man can tap into that energy it allows for an amazing amount of communication and respect. If a man can stand in who they are confidently and have the heart and the care to help others do the same they will empower not only the women but the boys in their lives as well. We have a son and I always say how smart he is to have chosen my husband as his father because he will learn how to be deeply compassionate and caring from him. Everything starts with us first, then from that place is where we can pour into others.
Confidence to me means having the ability to be who you are, meaning be who you truly want to be no matter who is around or what others will think of you. I have a belief that confidence is not something we buy and we keep forever, it is something we all have to CHOOSE to PRACTICE. Confidence really does take courage and the more courageous we choose to be the better we get at showing up in our confident best selves.
How do we raise confident children?